Onyeka Onwenu: Nigeria loses a Gem

The EKWE beats out a melodious tune as our ‘Elegant Stallion’ majestically marches to the afterlife. It is a journey taken way too early and an exit too sudden, leaving a gap that will be difficult to fill.

Onyeka Onwenu!

I got to know of her about the same time as millions of Nigerians, in the 80s when her internationally acclaimed BBC/NTA documentary titled NIGERIA: A SQUANDERING OF RICHES made waves. The elite society was probably astounded by the audacity of this young lady who delved into national matters that were fast becoming elephants in the room and brought to open discussion the malaise of our dear nation at that time. She was detailed, professional, passionate about her convictions and ready to defend her submissions. These attributes of great courage, truth no-matter-what and passion in her beliefs remained the hallmark of Nigeria’s versatile musician, great actor, business woman, social activist cum political activist/politician till her very last breath.

Onyeka’s journey began with the rhythmic cadence of her rich voice on the airwaves, captivating listeners with her warmth, eloquence and confidence. Her transition into music was seen initially as a hobby but she surprised many as she showcased a rare blend of talent and soul with songs that resonate with all generations, reflecting societal struggles, despair and triumphs, capturing the essence of our collective consciousness. Again, these were expressions of her personal convictions and that is how she poured all of herself into her acting and social /political activism, championing causes that mattered.

I had personal contact with Onyeka in the early 90s. I organised a semi formal gathering that had in attendance some of the topmost members of the corporate society. We needed refined entertainment that would fit the occasion and an artiste that could read the room and fit in. It was a no brainer; Onyeka was the choice and thus began our business relationship and friendship that spanned about three decades. Several times, she visited my country home for my birthday/end of year parties both as an honoured guest and a performer. We always joked about her artiste fees and the fact that Onyeka never gave discounts.

My heart is heavy because I never saw her demise coming. The last time we saw, she was still her elegant self, still boisterous and still committed to discussing what needed to be done for the average Nigerian especially those in the hinterland. She still talked about development of the creative industry and women in politics. In the complexity of Nigeria’s cultural and political landscape, Onyeka Onwenu, the ‘Elegant Stallion,’ was a brilliant thread that wove through the different fabrics of our experiences and history, binding us with her constant themes of love, unity and tolerance. Her passing is a profound loss, not just for her family and friends, but for the entire nation that she touched with her grace, passion and steadfast commitment.

As we mourn the loss of this great lady, we also celebrate the extraordinary life she led. Her journey is a beacon for all of us, a reminder of what it means to live with purpose and to contribute meaningfully to the world. She stood tall in every field she embraced, leaving behind a legacy that is as rich and multifaceted as her life was diverse.

In her memory, let us strive to uphold the values she cherished and continue the work she so passionately pursued.

And so the beat of the EKWE continues, not just to announce the majestic home journey of an icon but to remind us all to embrace love.

Rest in peace, Onyeka Onwenu! You have left a void too large to fill. Your legacy lives on in the hearts of those you inspired, in the melodies you created, the causes you so passionately championed and in the spirit of the nation you served loyally.

Adieu!

Fatherhood with Ibe

BONES IN MY THROAT 2

There are some things that people say and I wonder how they came by such claims. If, for example, you say that a man is acting in a certain way because he is jealous of you, I want to assume that there is something you possess that that person wants desperately but can’t have. It might not necessarily be limited to money; it could be your connections, job, assets, physical attributes, your stunning partner, even charisma, etc. What could trigger jealousy, by my estimation, is the fact that the other person is desirous of those attributes to the point of desperation but cannot have them. Therefore, if you have a wristwatch and the other person has a wristwatch or the financial ability to buy a similar wristwatch, obviously there would be no reason for jealousy. It becomes even more hilarious when the person neither cares about what you have nor has any desire to have whatever it is that you have.

Another claim that I struggle to understand is the conclusion that the reason a man/woman is unwilling to help you is because he wants to be the only rich person in the group or community. The reasoning is that if the man helps you, you will become rich too and compete with him for the position of ‘richest’ man in the community. Again, this is pathetic. How does it help anyone to be the only person everyone comes to for financial help? A rich man will have more money and time to invest in his business if he has less people to cater to. The more capable hands there are, the less the dependence on any one person.

These are mindset issues that need to be worked on.

Going around to spew nonsense about a man because he did not help you in the manner you expected is sheer wickedness and quite childish. I have encountered these reactions a lot and most times, instead of getting offended or upset, I remember the story of my old schoolmate Bones and how his saga played out.

Bones had a lot of expectations about the things i should do for him and his own entitlement mentality was alarming because it had absolutely no basis. We knew each other in secondary school and after over 20 years of no communication whatsoever, he sauntered into my office to ask, no, demand for money for upkeep and a high profile job (without relevant qualifications, I must add). Next, he casually demanded that I provide three delivery vans for him to start up a business that he clearly was not ready for. Of course, I couldn’t find him the job and could not give him delivery vans so immediately, I got feedback that Bones was spreading malicious stories about me along the lines of the claims I mentioned above. I didn’t know what made Bones to think that I owed him anything and I wasn’t even sure why I tolerated his shenanigans.

With all these, I still stood as referee for him when he got a job as a baggage handler with one of the airlines in Lagos.

In less than six months, Bones got into trouble in his place of work; he mismanaged someone’s luggage worth over N700,000 and he was arrested and locked up. Apparently, it wasn’t the first time he had slacked off on the job and caused losses to the airline. The management wanted him to refund the full value of the goods first before his dismissal. He started sending people to me. In his usual way, he wanted me to clear the staggering amount and talk to the company directors to make sure he would not lose his job. N700,000 two decades ago was a very big sum of money and Bones expected me to pay it off just like that. At a point, I started wondering if I was missing something; did I owe this guy something.

Why me, I asked some of his more mature emissaries? They had the grace to look shamefaced.

“Please forget about all the rubbish he said earlier,” one of the emissaries told me. He was also an old boy of our school and was doing quite well.

“Why should I?” I queried. “Bones slandered me continually, even while spending my money and you all thought it was entertaining….” I told him off sternly.

“No! Never!” His companion, another school mate that I didn’t remember, cut in. “I warned Bones then that he was going to eat his words and here we are.” He said, spreading his hands.

I didn’t want to spend another minute talking about Bones and giving him more relevance in my life than he deserved. I advised the men to gather as old boys association and contribute money to help Bones.

“If you approach me, I will contribute too, not because he deserves it, but just for the sake of God and humanity.”

The men knew that I was not going to shift ground. They left my office.

There were a few things I took out from that encounter that have helped me till today.

• Not everyone will show appreciation for kindness and I don’t have to pamper anyone’s ingratitude.
• Not everyone deserves my help.
• I cannot satisfy everyone.
• I will do the best I can for who I can, expecting neither gratitude nor return of favour.
• Nip slander in the bud – zero tolerance for mischief.

There have been several Bones-like people in my life but now, I don’t allow their misbehaviour to fester; I cut off and stay off. You should try it too.

So long!