EASY TIPS FOR PERSONAL SECURITY

The most anticipated question in this political era is “What plans do you have to tackle insecurity?” The question is thrown at almost all candidates, irrespective of the office they are campaigning for. It is clear that security is one major problem that constantly needs to be addressed in the country as a bedrock to other developmental expectations. In this article, I will just run through a few tips for personal security which are easy and can at least help the individual to escape harm or any breach of security. Where the person is already face to face with the breach, they can help buy time and help.

Criminals are constantly surveying the environment for an opportunity to commit crimes without being detected. When you leave your purse lying carelessly at the backseat of your car parked in a secluded area, it is an invitation to criminals. The security tips are just to make it less easy for you to become a victim.

• Be alert and aware of your environment: Don’t step out of your car or get into it without first taking a good look at the surroundings. Many people have walked smack into a kidnap or theft because they were preoccupied and did not observe a lurking vehicle or loitering individuals. If you are taking a walk, be vigilant; knowing who is near you or what is happening around you is the first step to being secure. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, move in the direction of other people. Walking in deserted areas invites trouble. Don’t walk with ear pods in both ears listening to music in the street; you should be attentive to cars and people and vigilant to anything approaching you. Don’t wear shoes or clothing that restrict your movement. Avoid shortcuts, especially dark alleys.
• Keep your hands free. Carrying items makes you a more vulnerable target for criminals. Backpacks should be worn on your back, keeping your arms and hands-free. Avoid text messaging or lengthy cell phone use while walking alone. Be extra alert; know who and what is around you at all times.
• Trust your instincts. If you have an intuitive feeling something is wrong, trust your instincts. React immediately and take action to reduce your risk. Many individuals suppress these feelings because they don’t want to seem paranoid; well, better paranoid than a victim, won’t you say?  If you feel vulnerable, ask security personnel to escort you to your car. This is often another fear individuals have, that they may inconvenience someone for something that did not exist. Please, err on the side of caution.
• Closely Guard Your Personal Effects because theft of personal items often leads to more criminal opportunities.
• Travel on populated, well-lit streets. If possible, travel with a friend. Traveling in groups of two or more significantly reduces your chances of becoming a victim of crime. Most assaults happen to lone victims. Be aware of pickpockets in crowded areas like malls; keep the bag as close to you as possible, fully closed and secured. Be aware of all the exit routes in your office, the cinema, the mall, and all other places you frequent; you just may find the information useful someday.
• Let friends and family know where you are going and when you’ll be back. Call if you’re going to be late. Whenever you travel; write them text messages, send photos or call them so they know you are alright at all times.
• Park your car in a well-lighted area and lock it when you leave. Check for uninvited passengers in the back seat or on the floor before you get in.
• Plan purchases in advance and try not to carry cash around for any reason. Have an account with a small amount of cash per time so that should you lose your ATM, it would not be a huge loss. Be very careful at the ATM, don’t approach the machine if you see people just hovering around the ATM and never count your money in public
• Carry your purse close to your body. Place one end of the purse in the palm of your hand and the other in the bend of the elbow. Never carry a purse by the handle or wrap the strap around your body. If you are carrying a wallet, carry it in the breast pocket of your jacket or in your side pants pocket. The rear pants pocket is one of the easiest to pick.
• Have your keys in hand before you reach your car or door.

If Someone Tries to Rob You

• If the attacker has a weapon and only wants your money or possessions, don’t fight back. Your life and safety are more important.
• Try not to panic. Look at the attacker carefully so you can give a good description to the police.
• Report the incident to the police as quickly as possible.  Your actions can help prevent others from becoming victims.

Vehicle Theft

• Always lock your car. Close windows all the way and make sure the boot is locked.
• Even if you’re rushed, look around before you get out of the car.
• Control your keys. Never leave an identification tag on your key ring. If your keys are lost or stolen, this could help a thief locate your car and burglarize your home.
• Keep everything of value you can in the trunk of your car. If you do leave packages, clothing, or other articles in the car, make sure they are out of sight or covered.
• Consider antitheft options, such as steering column locks, alarms, and switches that interrupt fuel or electronic systems.
• Keep your original vehicle documents at home, not in the pigeonhole of the car.

While the government tackles the bigger security issues, let us do what we can to keep safe. And, where someone needs help please, don’t walk away.

Fatherhood with Ibe

SHOW A LITTLE KINDNESS

No matter how often we are told that the issue of delayed conception in a marriage is the problem not just of the couple but the families involved as well, most often, the blame is laid directly at the feet of the women. There have been instances where a woman was called barren, was disgraced, and bullied.  She was finally chased out of the marriage and she started having children with another man. Even when doctors declare that there is nothing medically wrong with the woman, families and friends still blame her and call her names for any delay in having children; the family that should give the couple support and encouragement become the very base of their troubles.

Joel’s story about his years of childlessness struck a chord with me because although he is not Nigerian like me, his travails were totally similar to the stories that I have heard from couples facing the same challenges in my country. In fact, I think it was the first time that I would hear the story told from a man’s perspective.

Joel said:

“Martha and I were very confident about our future together when we got married. We’d met in college and for me, it was love at first sight. She was three years my junior and I could barely wait to make her mine. We got married soon after her graduation and we planned to wait a year before starting a family. We wanted to enjoy each other for a bit before being saddled with the responsibility of caring for children and we used to laugh at the anxious glances from well-meaning relatives at Martha’s stomach barely two months after our wedding. We waved off their enquiries and told them we were not ready to have children yet.

Then, one year passed and the second and third. What was happening? Where were the babies? My father called me several times to ask if there was a problem with us and what we were doing about it. We were just mildly concerned then because Martha was running her doctorate programme and we felt that academic stress could be responsible for the long wait. By the sixth year, we started getting frantic. The medical visits started. We went from specialist to specialist and the doctors declared both of us healthy but the hope died as month after month there was no conception.

Someone came with the ‘bright idea’ that our childlessness was a result of a spiritual engagement and always, there would be numerous examples of people who benefitted from such spiritual cleansing. We went from spiritualist to spiritualist. If there was anyone in the remotest part of Ghana, we would head over there. Our home became haven to all sorts of ‘men of God’ and ‘strong seers.’ We drank all sorts of herbs and performed all sorts of rituals. At first, there were easy tasks like feeding children in a motherless babies’ home. Then we graduated to giving out money to some people living with particular disabilities.  They always coined a story of how either Martha or I had been unkind to one child or one disadvantaged person. It was a debatable issue but we always did as we were asked because we were desperate to have a child.

There was this fateful day that a spiritualist told Martha to carry a pot of fruits on her head and walk alone into a forest. He told her to remain in that forest all day and all night until the birds of the air would eat up all the sacrifices on her head. It was the limit for me. I took my wife and we fled to the US for a few years. In that period, we started trying to adopt a baby back home. By this time, we had been married for over eleven years; some of our friends already had all the children they wanted. Of course, my family kicked against adoption.

“An adopted child is not your child. Marry another woman who can bear you your own children.” My father bellowed, lending his voice to my mother’s. He said he would not accept any adopted child as a member of his family. That caused a wedge between me and my family. I went ahead and adopted a little boy and for a while, we were one happy family but by his second birthday, we relocated back to Accra and within a few weeks our son fell ill and died. My wife was inconsolable. For over a year, she was in a deep state of depression. She no longer went to work and totally distanced herself from everyone. She even put pressure on me to concede to my family’s demand and take another wife. Some of my friends also advised me along the same line but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Martha and I had something special despite our ordeal; I was not ready to complicate our situation by bringing another woman into the picture.

I started the process of adoption again but within that period, we discovered that Martha was pregnant. You can imagine everyone’s joy. That was one of the most awaited babies in the world. After all the elaborate medical tests and interventions, after the numerous prayers and spiritual rites, when our energies were spent, our son arrived safely and without drama. Three years later, just as effortlessly, we had our twin daughters. I am a very grateful and happy man and my earlier ordeal makes my family even more precious to me.”

I wish we can all resolve to personally show a little more kindness to couples around us that are waiting to conceive their own babies. They already have enough on their plates without added animosity.

Cheers to a beautiful 2023!

So long!