DEARTH OF OPTION ‘A’

There’s a lot to be said about the adage, “whatever doesn’t kill a man makes him stronger;” well, most of the time. A few weeks ago, I was chairman at the commissioning of a fleet of high-tech buses for long distance commercial use. The CEO of this transport line is a very brilliant 43 years old man that I met long ago in the years that I taught a few classes at the Nigerian Law School.  He had a highly inquisitive mind and a burning passion for excellence; I was sure that he would go far. One day about five years later, I was standing at the foyer of an office, waiting for my driver to pull up when a young man walked up smartly and greeted me by name. Almost instantly, I recognised him as the brilliant chap from Law School. I was happy to see him and asked if he was working with the organisation that I had just held a meeting with. Law School superstar told me that he was a cab driver.

Seun, a cab driver? The young man was brilliant. Under the right tutelage, I knew he would make a name for himself as a formidable lawyer. I didn’t understand why he was driving a cab.

“I was at home for almost a year before I decided to do something instead of waiting endlessly for that dream job.” He told me.

His words saddened me.

“Yes, I understand that it’s a tough period now, for both employers and job seekers.” I conceded.

“Sir, you have no idea how graduates are roughing it out. I had dreamt of becoming a company secretary/legal counsel in a big conglomerate just like you but that option was never available. The law chambers that would take me just wanted researchers. I started driving cabs out of desperation and it pays me more than double the money any of those chambers was ready to pay. I have some colleagues that are security guards and a host of others that are estate agents or teachers at private schools.” He said, picking his words carefully.

I knew what he was saying.

Basic statistics shows that about 80% of Nigeria’s workforce is self-employed, not as big business owners but along the capacities that Seun had mentioned. And it rings true because thousands of graduates are released into the labour market every year but the job openings get fewer daily. Big companies have been shedding weight for a long time and the government agencies seem to be filled to the brim. The days of dreaming to graduate and have a variety of job offers from big conglomerates are long gone. Now, people are falling back on Options B, C or Z because Option A hardly materialises.

In my days, most of us were lucky; straight out of the university, we got jobs of our dreams. Companies used to go round to the universities to enlighten soon-to-be graduates about their organisations and why it would be an excellent career move to take up a job with them. In some cases they more or less signed up some undergraduates. They just had to wait for their final results to be through. I knew that I was going on to Harvard for my post graduate studies so I did not show much interest in the recruiting firms but many of my classmates were interested and some were spoilt for choice.

I gave Seun my phone number as my car pulled up and asked him to stay in touch. I was greatly disturbed by the young man’s story. I knew that I couldn’t help the whole world, but at least, I could help Seun because the thought of that legal brilliance expended on cab driving was unsettling. I started looking for a job for him in some great chambers and organisations that I felt his skills would be utilised adequately. I called in a few favours and when Seun called me again after about two weeks, I was very glad to tell him to meet the Executive Director in a certain office and just mention my name. I had done the underground work, all he had to do was sign papers and resume work. I was confident that he would live up to my glowing testimonials concerning his brilliance.

Two days later, Seun called me back to thank me for my help. I waved off his gratitude and told him to just stay focused on the job and build his career to greater heights.

“I turned the offer down, Sir.” Seun said, hastily cutting into my advice.

What? I couldn’t make sense of what I had just heard. I had been advised of the financial package that went with that job position and it was quite tidy.

“Why?” I asked calmly.

He told me that the job would not get him to his dream as fast as cab driving would. Was he joking, I wondered.

“What dream is that?” At this point, I was getting a little hot under the collar.

“Sir, I asked them the best that I can expect working with them for 10 years. They proudly told me that I could be a manager. I have been driving for two years now and I have paid off the hire purchase of my first vehicle and taken up another. Someone else is driving that first vehicle. I am getting two rickshaw vehicles on hire purchase too. I have several responsible people who are waiting to drive those. In 10 years, Sir, just driving cabs, I will be able to give jobs to more than 15 men. I will be helping to feed 15 families. It is more than that job would offer me.” He said.

I was silent because his words provoked a memory. I had started up some private companies while holding down my main job. I started a law firm, a publishing firm, a security company, and later ventured into real estate, hospitality, petroleum services and so on. I remember at the initial time, that my father asked me if I wanted to resign and face the businesses. I did not want to, at least not at the time. I loved my job, and I was very good at it, if I do say so myself. I didn’t want to resign. My dad could not understand why I would put up all my earnings and then some into projects that would benefit others a lot more than myself. It was part of the dream for me then; to explore my passion and provide opportunities for others to earn a decent living. It was a lot of work for me, closing from my main job and resuming in any of the businesses that needed my attention most. I had no spare time but I was deeply fulfilled. So, it was easy for me to understand Seun; infact, I went ahead to offer some assistance which he appreciated greatly.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, he told me that he was launching a new set of vehicles for long distance journeys. In a prior discussion, he had told me that he had ‘settled’ 12 of his loyal drivers by giving them a car and ‘keke’ (rickshaw cab) each to launch out on their own. He had several other drivers in line for similar ‘settlement.’ I admired what he had made of himself and the business he had built. He took his Option C and made it into an enviable option.

I have heard many people bewail their long standing joblessness, up to three years, some five years after graduation. And then I see some who did not wait but started using other skills – cooking, baking, sewing, barbing, trading etc, to earn a living. The 80% of working Nigerians! Some later got corporate jobs and quit their Option Bs and Cs while others, like Seun, made big businesses out of their make-do businesses.

Remember, whether the glass is half empty or half full depends on your perspective.

So long!

Fatherhood with Ibe

Before the Big Day

In a short while, my first son, Emeka will be getting married.

How time flies!

When my daughter got married a few years ago with all the pomp and pageantry that went with it, I tasked and toiled to get ready. But on that day, during the events, I sat back in deep sober reflection. Was Nkem going to be happy? Had her mother and I prepared her enough for life without parental supervision? Could she handle child bearing and child nurturing? Was her husband going to be nice to her and their kids? In a nutshell, would the marriage work?

Every parent knows the weaknesses and strengths of their children. As they foray into a life unscripted, each parent worries and prays. Well, that was back in 2015.

Today, seven years later, the marriage hasn’t quite worked out … too many reasons, the fault of both husband and wife. When a child’s marriage fails, you can’t but feel a sense of guilt and failure as a parent.  Did you do enough to prepare your child? Did you do too much that you spoilt the child in the process? Anyway, we got two grandchildren and we take consolation in the lovely lives produced – we now worry about how to help Nkem cope with her kids; our grandchildren. Parenting … it just goes on! Life is a circle but somehow the parental responsibilities never end, even when your title changes suddenly from ‘Daddy’ to ‘Grandpa.’

That is the journey of life and the cross of relationships.

So now, Emeka!

With boys it is a bit easier, hopefully, but still comes with a lot of worries. Soon June 11th will come and he will tie the knots and begin taking full responsibility for guiding, providing and leading his own family.

His wife-to-be, Kelechi is a lovely girl. She comes from a warm, loving and closely-knit family and seems to love my son greatly. Soon their race will begin. Emeka is tying the knot at 34 – old enough I would say. I got married at 27. In my days, boys were more focused and able to take leadership quickly; we had to. The stress of economic downturn and the unabated struggle for life in Nigeria today seem to have slowed the speed of maturity for Nigerian kids, increasing parental dependence.

I held on to Emeka for too long, wanting to make sure he was ready and that he knew what he was about to undertake. I think I was a bit heavy-handed and soon, he started revolting.

‘Dad, I have sent my wedding card design to the printer,’ he announced to me while I was abroad on a trip.

‘Really?” I asked, clearly upset. ”And you took the decision on your own without involving us?” By us, of course, I meant his mother and I.

“Dad, I have been telling you but you keep saying I don’t look ready.”

“And are you ready?” I fired back. “Do you have the resources yet to adequately cater for a wife and kids? How prepared are you?”

“Dad, that’s for me to worry about.” He responded testily. Calmly, he continued, “I thank you for all you’ve done so far but I need to take my risks and move on. I have met a woman who is ready to sacrifice with me. With the much you have provided and what we have, we will manage and make it happen.”

That was a few weeks ago and I think it finally dawned on me that I was not dealing with a boy anymore. So I got into the programme. I met his in-laws, counselled Emeka and his fiancée and got comfortable.  Now the arrangements are on and soon we will be blessed with the latest couple in town.

And then the race of life would begin for them as a family.

Join us in prayers as we sojourn into a new communion.

Emeka is a loving, thoughtful and conscientious boy … sorry, man. Soon, he will be facing the challenges of real manhood. I pray and trust that he will hold his own; that he will build a beautiful, peaceful and loving home with his wife.

So long guys….

MY TOP PICK THIS WEEK

Portofino logo crest leather sneakers by Dolce & Gabbana is my top pick this week.

I am normally a Loafers lover but this pair of sneakers by D&G is classy and irresistible.